Here I was, willing to let Ron hang at my house, and he wanted to hang out in a bar instead? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but there's been all sorts of craziness going on.

Are we clear on that? They opened up a couple months ago, and my pal Ron got himself a job there.

Joe Garden

He would force the captive Mary to listen to his rambling anecdotes about his job. Ron kept talking about how all these girls he knew were gonna come over, but I knew better. Hola, amigos. If there's no hill, I have to get a push, or if no one is around, I have to do it myself. See, I got pulled over last month on my way home from the bar because they said I blew a stop sign. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been stressin' like a Hessian over….

Since we were all pretty loaded, we decided it was probably best if we walked. So did we get into some shit?

As soon as they finished, Wes and I took off, even though he wanted to stay for Foreigner. My Private Messages. Jerkass Has a Point: But I was in a bad spot, and I needed someone to help bail me out. They've always had it in for Jim Anchower. I never thanked him proper for the job, so I went and picked up some weed and a case of Miller Genuine Draft and dropped by.

Jim Anchower joined The Onion's editorial writing staff in after several distinguished years on The Come Back Inn dishwashing staff. Downplayed in " Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker ", in which the developmentally disabled employee stands out by doing the simple things his supposedly smarter co-workers are supposed to be doing.

The Onion Getting A New Place Sucks!

And since it was pretty much gonna be me, Wes, and Ron, I knew I could keep them on a short leash. Updated Re-release: He was telling me I only had 20 minutes to get to work, and I'd better get up so I wouldn't make him look bad. I got the itch to play some of those zombie shooting games, so all I gotta do is save up some of my extra scratch.

I got my ear out for a new place, but so far, I haven't heard anything. It Has Been an Honor: