I WON THE LOTTO!!!

Ramdass did actually manage to smoke-and-mirrors his wife for a period of time.

It happened to me: I won the lottery and it ruined my life Daily Mail Online

Writing "may or may not" is actually redundant. Share or comment on this article: Taking out one of your earbuds is the equivalent to curtsying from Showerthoughts. Your life will never be your own again. More trouble than it's worth: I had to endure many court cases over the next few years, all from people who felt entitled to a slice of the money I had won.

Here's what you should do if you're unlucky enough to win the lottery. That's right: unlucky.

I went through a series of short-lived marriages, and when I separated from my third wife, my mum told me I was no son of hers.

The whole point of lotteries is that anyone can win, and sometimes the jackpot goes to the guy who can feel love only when he's watching documentaries of the Hindenburg disaster while huffing the ashes of cremated kittens. While we were away my secretary phoned to say she had received sack loads of begging letters and marriage proposals.

Continue Reading Below. Princess Beatrice sends Chrissy Teigen into meltdown when she jokes she would 'adore' to be her goddaughter Use My Facebook Avatar. Large jackpot winners face double digit multiples of probability versus the general population to be the victim of: They're hard to tell apart, believe me, I know. So the MIT guys and a couple of other scientist groups kept it up for years, their bastardry becoming so lucrative over time that they managed to not only quit their day jobs but attract actual investors to their scheme.

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The guy who invented trash bags, litteraly sold everyone garbage. Carroll was a petty criminal that stumbled upon winning a British lottery jackpot in Would you have refused me the trip? One last backfire. Somehow, Carroll survived his eight solid years of debauchery. Lucky for us, the kid seems to have finally grasped the finer points of head-protection.

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Grant delightedly carts along his London-themed suitcase as he touches down in LA with daughter Olivia ahead of Oscars Rylan Clark-Neal suffers an unfortunate fake tan fail on This Morning as he reveals his bright orange streaky hand Awkward 'Arguments erupt' on Empire set after Jussie Smollett's arrest as 'furious' cast members call for him to be FIRED and Gabby Sidibe deletes supportive post Hollyoaks' Jennifer Metcalfe looks effortlessly glamorous in animal print leggings and an aviator jacket as she goes for a stroll in between filming Lily Allen still feels guilty for leaving her daughters to tour when they were babies and thinks it will 'come back to get them' Candid Rochelle Humes disgusts This Morning viewers as she LICKS a spoon and puts it back in the bowl during hilarious cooking segment Nick Jonas sings acoustic version of Oscar-nominated Shallow as he serenades his loving new wife Priyanka Chopra 'Best breakthrough act It would take some really peculiar circumstances, like if the guy who's holding the ticket suddenly bails out of work and starts behaving like he had recently acquired a lot of money My sister, who carved a swastika on her own arm.

He struggled for a bit to get into the vehicle. That wasn't a throwaway line -- it was a brick prologue to the story of Michael Carroll, quite possibly the most gleefully, gloriously horrible lottery winner to ever grace the Earth with his million-dollar bling and private demolition derby fields.